My Story. From Autoimmune + Infertility to Living a Life Beyond My Wildest Dreams.
No, this will not be my life story, that's far too long. Suffice to say, that up until my early 30's I had a pretty idyllic life, including my health coaching practice. I have been obsessed with health, food, and fitness since I can remember. So, let's fast forward. Today, I live with two auto-immune conditions, the first one was easy to spot - celiac - no gluten, no problem. The second was a bit more complex. Here I discuss the process of the diagnosis as well as my struggles with fertility. Spoiler alert: I have a beautiful daughter who was born in 2023. Food was the common thread that healed me through all of my struggles, which I am grateful for, for without them, I wouldn't have the knowledge that I have today, to help you.
In my younger years, I was very fiery and ambitious (not always in the best ways). For whatever reason, I didn’t really get that I needed to reel it in as I got older. I worked hard and played hard in high school, college, and beyond. I said yes to literally everything, which resulted in a lot of stress on my body and my mind. The years between 2014 and 2017 were especially intense. I met the love of my life, a man I am thrilled to call my husband now. Fast forward about six months, and my company was acquired, which was great, but stressful—new job, new boss, new workflow, new office. Five months after that, I got engaged, and we immediately started planning our wedding, I had just turned 30 and everything felt "perfect". I should mention that said wedding was to occur in eight short months, on the opposite side of the country (I don’t recommend this!).
Around this time, I started to experience a lot of anxiety. I stopped getting my period and it became really uncomfortable for me to eat. The hardest part of this story to tell, to really write about, is that I have a history of an eating disorder (it started in high school with a bout of restriction which then led me to binge frequently), and these patterns were resurfacing. Receiving my second (not final) diagnosis was the only thing that could possibly get me to finally make peace with those issues. I hid behind my seemingly “healthy” habits for so long, but eventually, my body couldn’t take it anymore.
I should have stopped. I should have slowed down, postponed the wedding, taken care of myself, but I didn’t want to let anyone down, so I kept going. I was so sick on my honeymoon I may as well have not even been there, and I was there… in the South of France, and in Paris! This should have been the happiest time of my life, but I felt awful. However, I was determined to power through, put on a happy face and push myself to the point of extreme pain. Surely I would reach the other side of this soon.
Four months after we returned from our honeymoon, my husband and I started the process of buying a home. If you’ve ever purchased real estate in Los Angeles, well, you get it. I was so ill from stress by the end of that process that my husband had to handle all of the paperwork for us. I was sick more often than I was well.
I had a brief moment of almost normalcy after we had settled into the new house. It was a relief, I mean, I’m good now, right? Enough change. I started feeling better for a while, but it didn’t last long, and eventually I needed some answers.
What led me to seek help was that after a couple of years of pain, not sleeping, and pure hell, I needed to do something, living my charmed life was anything but - in fact, it was intolerable. So, long story short, I was diagnosed with minor Barrett's Esophagus disease. This is something that can be a precursor to esophageal cancer, but rarely gets to that point. I was shocked when I found this out since it mainly affects men, who are overweight and heavy drinkers and/or smokers, none of which are descriptors one could use for me. A doctor friend of my husband pointed out, after a year of treatment for this condition, that I probably don't have it and I should be retested to see what was really going on. Turns out, I DO have it, but, it only manifests because of an underlying condition called Achalasia, which is when the esophagus muscle stops working. I repeat - my esophagus does not work. I was blessed to find a fantastic doctor at USC who properly diagnosed and then proceeded to operate on me in 2020. I am now medication-free for anything relating to this condition. The procedure I had is called a Heller Myotomy with dor Fundoplication. If that interests you, please, go ahead and look it up, but suffice to say I can live a normal life now. I have celiac disease, so I avoid gluten for health reasons, but that's about it. To an extent, I believe my negative thought patterns at that time enabled me to do this to myself, which is why creating a positive relationship with yourself is so important.
After my heller myotomy in 2020 (January, before the world changed), I started to rebuild my life, and it started with food. I had frequent small meals throughout the day, lots of veggies and fruits, and tons of protein. I reduced my exercise a bit, and pretty much stopped drinking alcohol (a glass here and there is tolerable for me now). I saw a psychiatrist and started working through my stress issues. I learned the importance of self-care, and finally started practicing what I had been preaching for so many years. I started sleeping for the first time in over a year. If I had waited much longer, the outcome could have been much worse. I would have been in a more advanced stage of this disease. In 2021 we moved to Florida and began trying for a family, which proved to be challenging, as expected, given what my body had been through.
Never give up. I could draw you a map to my fertility clinic. I feel like I lived there for the better part of 2021 and 2022. IVF is draining, scary, physically very uncomfortable, and very, very expensive. I questioned myself more often than not, especially when I endured not one, but two miscarriages, but I knew in my heart that I wanted to become a mother, and finally, three weeks after my 38th birthday and three years after we started the IVF process, my daughter, Sofia, was born. During those treatments, I had to really focus on my nutrition. It's probably the healthiest I've ever been, truly, it's amazing what we will do for someone we don't even know we will ever meet.
Words of Advice
I wanted to share my story, mainly, because there is always a silver lining, and I encourage you to find it. The lesson here is simple: Listen. Slow Down. Ask for Help. Love Yourself—for real. Never give up on yourself, and always advocate for your health, because no one else can do it for you.
